What's Going On? On Grieving Together

I've been thinking about grief quite a lot over the past year. We have had several funerals here at Mountainview in that time, and I've met with many people dealing with old and new grief. Sometimes I hear about the world-shattering grief of suddenly losing a life partner or child. Sometimes I hear about the persistent grief after the loss of a parent that lingers longer than one expects it. I've also heard from brothers and sisters in Christ experiencing anticipatory grief or the slow relentless pain of losing someone to dementia.

Scripture speaks beautifully of the depth of human attachment. Both the Old and New Testaments speak of marriage partners becoming one flesh. Many scriptures also speak to the deep love between parents and children, or between siblings, and even friends! David's soul was said to be knit to Jonathan's. Just as God binds our hearts together in love in a variety of relationships, we experience a variety of types of grief and loss when people we love die (whether suddenly or slowly). Though there are a variety of types, shapes, and feelings of grief, all griefs have some things in common. They are all painful. And they are all lonely. Even though the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our hearts as a comforter, and even though we are surrounded by loving siblings in Christ, we often feel impossibly lonely in the face of grief. And that loneliness is intensified when we are missing a partner who should be present in all of our spaces.

Last December, after Grief Share wrapped up for the season, a group of a dozen or so grieving people in our church began gathering periodically to offer one another mutual support. They shared stories, ate together, prayed together, walked together, and started weighing the question, "How do we support one another as grieving community members?" This echoed my own question from a pastoral perspective, "How does a church community support people as they grieve?" (I write this, knowing that other grief support ministries have blessed this community over the years, and with thanks for the good work those ministries have done). Grief Share is starting back up in September, and Grief Cafe is going to meet once again on August 25th after the outdoor service (and after folks have had a chance to grab something to eat and chat with friends).

I'm still chewing on the questions above. Is Grief Cafe a helpful hold-over until Grief Share starts up again? Is there ongoing value in gathering and sharing our hurts and hearts together in this way? Would something else be more helpful? Whether you have been a part of Grief Cafe so far, or you haven't but are grieving and would like to share some time together and be part of these musings, I invite you to join us on August 25th. Drop in at the Fireside Room when you're ready.

Pastor Jolene